Reasons why you're not frothing at the mouth
Physical
A bad lover: zero technique eventually leads to zero desire.
Exhaustion and stress
Poor general health or chronic
illness
Excessive alcohol or drug abuse
A reaction to medication/recreational drugs
Depression
Low hormone levels.Menopause, periods and pregnancy all alter our levels of desire.
Pelvic surgery (like
hysterectomy) which has deadened nerve endings in the
genital region
No chemistry with partner.
Emotional
Relationships problems: feeling
frustrated, angry or resentful
toward partner or guilty, sad or
ashamed over something you've
done to them.
Low self-esteem or low sexual
self-esteem
A bad body image
Poor sex education
A traumatic, earlier sexual
experience
A history of unsatisfactory sex.
A strict religious upbringing
which taught us sex is ‘bad' and
other negative sexual attitudes
Communication problems which
stop us telling our partner what
triggers we need to tip us over
the orgasm edge.
Lack of trust
Tension – unresolved relationship
conflicts resulting it one or both
of you withholding sex as a
punishment.
How to get back in the mood:
Get a good night's sleep. Disturbed sleep leads to a reduction in the male hormone testosterone, which boosts both your libidos.
Take responsibility for your libido.
Don't expect your partner to turn you on, do it yourself! Make it your mission to pinpoint what gets you in the mood for sex then do more of it.
Let your imagination loose.
Don't be ashamed of your fantasies and refuse to feel guilty if having sex with someone other than your partner is one
of them. Being unfaithful in reality isn't on but it's OK to do it in your head.Really. One survey found around 75% of us do it to keep sex fresh
Meet halfway.
If you don't want intercourse, what
about oral sex? If you don't want oral sex or any sex yourself, do you mind pleasuring them? At the very least, you can and should be able to offer the physical intimacy of a cuddle
Focus on sex, don't avoid it.
If you're constantly being hassled for it,sex is often the last thing you want to watch or read about. Low libido people often avert their eyes when they see nudity, a sexy scene on telly or in the
movies or flip the page if they hit a story in the newspapers or glossies.Don't. It's just as easy to think yourself into sex than it is to talk yourself out of it and the more often you expose
yourself to sexy literature and images, the sexier you'll feel.
Know what you want and need to be satisfied sexually.
And I'm talking both in, and out of, bed.If you need to relax first, don't be scared to ask for a massage. Or for them to do the dishes while you take a bath or shower.
Give sex a high priority in your life.
If you're avoiding it or not interested,chances are it's the last thing you do,last thing at night. Well – Gosh! – funnily enough, even high sex drive people sometimes wonder if it's worth the
effort when they're exhausted after a long day at work.
Get into a routine where you and your partner have chat-time then sex before you start dinner and switch the TV on. Or if you really are too stressed during
the week, have breakfast in bed on the weekends and make that sex time.
Get your body clocks in sync.
A morning person matched with a night time one? If this is you, take turns on the time of day you make love. And try sex mid morning, midday and mid
afternoon, not just morning or night
Sex does NOT equal intercourse.
Plenty of people (women especially)don't orgasm through intercourse alone, so tend to find penetrative sex quite boring. If sex is boring, it's no wonder
you're not desperate to dive into bed!The more you mix up what you do, the higher the interest.
Don't relax!
Instead, focus on the erotic sensations you're feeling. Tighten the muscles of your thighs, bottom, lower tummy and
pelvic floor muscles to help trigger an orgasmic reflex.
Set up a craving cycle.
Without wanting to point out the
obvious, orgasms feel good. If
something feels good, our body – quite logically – says 'more please' and sulks if we don't obey by developing either psychological or physical cravings when denied its high.
The more sex you have, the more you want. We quickly forget how great sex can be. Have good sex often and you're constantly reminded of all the physical
and emotional pluses.
